Well this certainly was a week of some of the highest highs and lowest lows! We've really been focusing a lot on noticing how much God's hand in EVERYTHING.
there were definitely both this week. I'd like to focus on a few in particular.
It all started with zone training that we had on Tuesday. I have a great zone !!
We were really focusing on the Spirit. How to recognize and rely on the Spirit. I've never really had the best confidence or faith in my ability to receive direction or answers from the Spirit. Its something that I really wanted to strengthen coming out here and I’ve been praying a lot for help with it. I've been using "if it's good then it's of God" and trying to act upon any promptings I might get.
They say the only way to get better at recognizing those things is to act on them.
I guess my ZLs noticed something was up. They asked if I was doing ok. I did not want to seem like a whiner, but eventually they got it out of me. A few days later, they called and asked sister Adair and I to give a discussion at zone training on "recognizing and Receiving guidance and promoting from the Spirit" and "praying in faith". At first I was like REALLY?!
Haha but the more I started reading and studying up on it, the more I knew it was actually an answer to my prayers. I came to know how much the promptings we get depends on US.
In preach my gospel, it says that God will answer our prayers but "He asks that you remain worthy of His gift and that you ask, seek and knock". At first I took this to mean I wasn't worthy of His gift. But the more I reflected on myself, the more I realized I had stopped asking, seeking and knocking. Christ is always there, ready and willing but we need to humble ourselves and ask for his help. During zone discussion there was lots said about how the areas had been difficult lately and many felt they were not reaching their potential. We felt prompted to invite the zone to do what my district had done in the MTC . We all took 5 minutes in the middle of the meeting to kneel in personal prayer and sincerely ask God, point blank, what He needs us to learn and how we specifically can be better right now. Wow. The spirit in that room was tangible. I know without a doubt that my testimony was strengthened and I felt closer to my Father in Heaven. I know without a doubt that He is there. He listens and He does answer, if we only ask, seek and knock.
That lesson really stuck with us all the whole week. We finally got to meet with N again. She had a tough week. She got fired, kicked out of her apartment and she sent her daughter to live with her parents so she doesn't have to live in the car with her. She is so sweet and is working hard with many people to change her situation. But she recognized the feeling she felt when we visited her and while she needs to work on a few temporal things in her life right now she is craving the spiritual also. It will be a long hard road for her but we believe she can do this!!
So…while TRYING to rely on the spirit… We were street visiting and sister Adair was like "okay tell me where to go" so I'd just say Left or Right until we got somewhere then I was like Okay pull over! So we got out of the car. The second house we knocked on a guy named A. opened the door. He has a crazy past but was really looking to change! He said he really felt something when we visited with him and he wanted us to come back. Crazy right?? It gets better. Turns out he's N's brother! This is where it gets a different kind of crazy.
He is an ex-Satanist. He has a battle with drinking also and as soon as we got there we felt the spirit start to leave. He was starting to get back into his old ways and said the only way to help him would be to cleanse him and get the demons out of him. We talked a bit about God's love for us and how there's no such thing as "too far gone" and how the things we give power to are the things that start to control our life. He wasn't exactly in a place where he could listen. He started muttering some things and talking about the anti Christ and we really knew we had to get out of there. We testified of Gods love and how there is always help, said a prayer with him and left. Hours later when he had sobered up he actually called us and apologized for the way he acted and said he really did want help. We're setting a time to meet with him again but we're bringing a brother from the ward with us.
Anyway, crazy times here in Montana! Lots of Casinos and people lost and wasted and confused...... But it's BEAUTIFUL as ever once you get out of the city.
I am learning SOOOO much. Yes it's hard. Yes it's stressful. Yes it hurts when you see people struggling or just refusing God's love. But something that I've REALLY been learning is He is always there. He helps us when we ASK, He answers us when we SEEK and He always opens when we KNOCK.
I love you all!!!!